People spend thousands of dollars to announce this contract, I mean. I can’t possibly be seeing this the way it’s supposed to be seen. It registers to me as, a loss of identity and getting wrapped up in someone else’s idea of a life. I’m getting a headache as I type this. This craft escapes me. These two people (husband and wife) were meant to be some sort of “pair”, not only happy to live together but to be a kind of team that enjoys each other’s company SO MUCH, that they create a life around each other. This man is stood beside by a docile and supportive trophy woman in public who becomes an assertive, house running BOSS in the home. Mom and I were sitting in her living room earlier one morning when she said something about how some women need a man. He says, “Awh Chrissy don’t worry, you’re just a late bloomer like your Dad.” …my mom was… younger. it wasn’t until after we divorced that I realized he had the intentions of living in the same city, raising small opinionated beasts who would grow IN MY STOMACH, and eating at the same restaurant every Sunday.Īpparently this soul quelling idea is called. Sure I brought home fairly large slabs of bacon, made up the bed and opened a few businesses but. My ex had latched onto the idea that adulting was a “thing”, and I’d never gotten the memo. I think I got married to try adulting on for size. I walked down the aisle to “Love You Like A Love Song”, a techno club record TOTALLY meant for high heeled, couch dancing at LIV in Miami (or maybe Lavo in Vegas). Aaaaand, it literally never occurred to me that I’d missed a step until… Wedding Bells in Vegas (circa: 2016-2018). I’m in LA, a small-time millionaire, Grammy award winning, and happily dating “grown ups” but. Either they were in a warp zone, matrix or, I TOTALLY forgot to grow up.Īston Martin Music drops. They hated their phones, took ”up the nose” selfies and wore Lululemon to Starbucks. The friends I knew for years still lived in the same state, had brunch with the same people and even had the same jobs they had out of college. Instagram famous, DM’s over texts and FaceTime over phone calls. I was basically a child with enough money to make adult mistakes.
Un-married, using magazines as style forecasters, haphazard new friends by way of the Internet. If they were just as articulate and opinionated as me, then it must be strange if I’m at the same stage of life as they are. Fly, broke and bossy, but pretty darn smart. Cool hair cuts, blonde tips… Louis Vuitton bags! No one was speaking for them. They’d have their own thoughts and ideas.
I’d come back a year or two later and they’d be even taller and trendy too. I’d see their children and be in disbelief at how much taller they were than two years ago. I’d visit these friends over the years, you know, when I wasn’t busy. I watched as their “fictional” bellies grew and these small beautiful beasts crawled out of their vaginas. I watched them from a distance, like they were living and breathing, picture books trying to share ideas with me about the future. My friends were getting married and having babies then. I spent years thinking about it, in my 20’s.
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